This article was originally published in The University Press, Lamar University’s student newspaper, on April 26, 2018.
Story by Eleanor Skelton
UP contributor
Editorial note: The names in this story have been changed to protect the victims.
For women living with the uncertainty of whether their next swipe right on Tinder could be a fun new date or a predator hiding behind a smiling profile picture, dialogue about sexual assault and how frequently it occurs can help.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Feminists of Lamar president Savannah Anderson-Bledsoe said that students must work together to create a safe environment.
“The rates of sexual assault and harassment, particularly on college campuses, will likely increase unless we all join together and fight to end rape culture and toxic masculinity,” she said in an email interview. “We must not forget that toxic masculinity hurts all of us.”
Sexual assault occurs everywhere. Several local women shared their experiences.
“Jessica” said she left Lamar University almost seven years ago after she became a target.
“I was victim of severe emotional manipulation during my time at Lamar, and it’s the principal reason I ended up completely leaving the area,” she said.
“Jessica” said she met another older student through one of the religious organizations on campus who was quite charismatic. He was dating one of her friends at the time. “Jessica” explained that she was vulnerable after breaking up with her fiancé.
“All my ideas of who God was had been tied up in the success of that relationship,” she said. “I still had a lot of ideas about the world that came from a conservative upbringing, like women should be submissive to men.”
What began as friendly support turned quickly into something much darker, “Jessica” said.
“He promised me marriage in the future without ever actually committing to date me,” she said. “Our relationship was supposed to be super-secret, but everybody around us knew something was up.”
That’s when “Jessica” started noticing the red flags.
“Something was very wrong,” she said. “My mom and sisters all told me to stay away from him. He used this as a way to demonstrate how we couldn’t trust anyone and he was the only one I could trust.”
Over time, he showed himself to be manipulative and a liar, “Jessica” said. While the abuse never became sexual, “Jessica” said she believes it would have eventually.
“I ended up needing to completely get away,” she said. “The experience with abuse ruined a lot of the best parts of my life in Beaumont. I quit school. I still haven’t finished my degree now, 10 years after entering college.”
Lamar’s annual security report states: “Dating Violence includes, but is not limited to, sexual or physical abuse or the threat of such abuse” and “Is a threat that reasonably places the victim in fear of imminent physical harm, bodily injury, assault, or sexual assault.” The wording in the report expands the definition of abusive relationships beyond encounters that turn into rape or assault to behaviors that are predatory.
Sexual abuse is obviously not limited to adults.
“Genevieve,” a former Lamar State College-Port Arthur student, is a victim of childhood sexual abuse. Her grandfather molested her during what was supposed to be nap time when she was five-years old. She made an outcry to her parents, but her mother told her not to tell anyone.
“To me, he killed me that day and got away with murder,” she said.
The experience “Genevieve” described is consistent with national statistics. More than 90 percent of juvenile sexual abuse victims are abused by someone they know, according to a 2010 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report.
“Genevieve” said her high school boyfriend and ex-husband later abused her as well. She’s now a single mom with three children.
“Recovery is rough still, 34 years later,” she said.
Anderson-Bledsoe said survivors of sexual assault need support, and rapists need sufficient jail time rather than public sympathy.
“As citizens, we must demand tougher laws on sexual violence,” she said. “We must vote for state representatives and politicians who are dedicated to combating sexual assault and furthering or supporting efforts to adequately prosecute sexual assault cases.”
To report sexual abuse on campus, students can contact the LU Student Health Center at 880-8466, the Lamar University Police Department at 880-8311 and the Title IX Coordinator’s Office at 880-8375. For more information about Lamar’s policy and how to report, visit http://www.lamar.edu/titleix.
Anyone can also contact Beaumont Child Abuse and Forensic Services, located at 810 Hospital Drive, Suite 190 in Beaumont for help off campus. Their number is 832-0421 or visit cafstx.com.
Victims’ Assistance Center: 833-3377
Rape and Suicide Crisis Center: 835-3355 or 800-793-2273
Texas Family Protective Services Abuse Hotline: 800-252-5400.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-2233.
Eleanor Skelton 