Here’s another post from my escape.
If you know someone who is being held too tightly, this is for you. If you are one of us, an isolated homeschool kid in an unhealthy household who doesn’t have quite enough room to breathe, this post is also for you.
Gmail chats with friends like this, under the radar, were huge for my survival before and after leaving.
True story, these chats were with a friend who later escaped herself.
(Real names have been changed.)
In these first few chats, I had decided to move out and was making preparations.
7/26/2012, 11:56 p.m.
me: So my parents decided they wanted my phone back after all, so they could give it to [sister], they said, so my friend M took me back to T Mobile to buy a new phone. 😛 It was annoying, but I looked at it this way–now my sister can call me if she needs me and she has my old number. 🙂
Silver: Well, they gave it, they can take it back. Now you’ve got your own.
me: Yeah, legally they can, but it’s weird because a few weeks ago they said I could be on their phone plan for free and keep my phone. I didn’t like being tracked by location, so I thought I was helping by getting my own plan, with expenses. But now they want the other one back…oh well, no small loss. 😛
Silver: *shrugs* Now you got your own. There are only so many things they can take back.
me: Exactly. They can keep putting up roadblocks–but I keep finding ways around them… And God keeps providing. 😀
Silver: Right, just make sure it’s not you trying to thwart your parents.
me: Yeah, I’ve had that thought, but I’m still trying to be as respectful to them as I possibly can. My school has come through for me in near miraculous ways I never expected.
Silver: What has the school done?
me: ALL kinds of financial aid and help from my profs.
Silver: O.o really? Are you set for next semester then?
me: Yes. 😀
Silver: O.O Wow, that was quick.
me: They put me on emergency status at financial aid when I told them my parents emptied my savings account. They said I could also be classified as in danger of being homeless since my parents are kicking me out.
Silver: Well, if it helps. I guess. But they’re not really kicking you out are they?
me: (It legally counts under FAFSA if you have to live with friends or don’t have permanent housing.)
Silver: Oh I sees.
me: They basically told me to either go to Bob Jones or leave ASAP. O.o So…yeah…
Silver: O.o Oh well… you’re apartment shopping so won’t be long now ^^
me: Yeah. 😀
7/28/2012, 3:23 p.m.
me: I packed 7 big boxes last night. And I’m making an inventory of stuff I have so we’ll know what we still need to get.
Silver: ^^ Sounds like it’s coming along nicely 😀
me: So far so good. Haven’t heard back from the apartment people yet, though, to make sure our apartment application was approved. How’s the writing?
Silver: Not happening 😛
me: Oh. 😄
Silver: I want to do something. Not sure yet, but I’m putzing around. Still packing today? What’ve you been up to?
me: Our friends with 13 kids came to visit today, so I’ve been hanging out with them. I thought it would be really awkward to visit with them because they want me to go to BJU and they’re BJU grads and their kids go there, but so far it’s going much better than expected.
Silver: Is that why they came over? 😄
me: They happened to be in the area anyway for their cousin’s wedding (their cousin lives in Pueblo). 😛
Silver: Oh I see. 😛
That was Saturday afternoon. Then Sunday came, and I had the second conversation with my pastor. This was when he told me that I was being deceived by Satan, and I knew was no longer welcome in my church. It’s on the timeline I’ve posted over here.
At this point, my parents had also emptied my savings account because they were advised by a friend against “enabling my rebellion.”
I sent Silver nine text messages about what happened, and she called me. She was on a plan with limited minutes, so every text message cost half a minute. I was in my bedroom with my back to the door, sobbing.
Then my phone disconnected. (My family’s house was up north of town, bad reception). So we went back to chatting.
7/30/2012, 12:41 a.m.
me: My phone is being stupid and won’t let me call you back. 😦
Silver: 😛 That’s okay, we can chat this way
Silver: Since I’m here. Might as well.
me: True. 😛
Silver: I’m upstairs. Might start playing Kingdom hearts too. >:3
me: Ooh.What is that? 😀 It was very nice to actually hear your voice. 🙂 *hugs*
Silver: ^^ It is a game that has pretty much all the disney characters, as well as characters from Final Fantasy (another awesome fantasy series/games) 😀 Loads of fun! Got things all sorted/ready for bed >.> <.<
Silver: Time for some chai tea latte!
me: Yum. 🙂
Silver: >:3 OH so yum! I shall get my game ready! and the tea!
Silver: *tells sister so she can watch* (and help when I get stuck :6:)
me: Oh, ok. 😀 Also…I found out that it’s NOT my pastor who told my parents to take the money from my account. I asked him point-blank tonight. But I don’t know who. <.<
Silver: :S well whoever it was, had it out for you.
me: Very much so. I might try this church, also. It’s Niri’s old church.
Well….it’s 2am. I should try to sleep. 😳 Although today was awful. I think sleep will help. And tomorrow is a new day.
Silver: *hugs* God’s will be done. It may be messy now, but if this is God’s will, there was a reason why he wanted you to leave that church too.
me: Yeah, true. And I’d been feeling for a while maybe I didn’t fit there anymore. Maybe this way to show me that it was really time to go. *hugs* Have fun playing. 🙂
Silver: Good night! ^^
7/31/2012, 5:58 p.m.
me: *hugs* I am SO tired of everything going on. <.< Called my bank today–one of the only two bankers that I can talk to (the one that is not friends with my dad).But he refused to talk to me. Ack! He says I have to talk to the other banker. *headdesk* But I did get out and went to Panera and had lunch with A. Which was good.
Silver: Well, did you talk to the other banker?
me: No. 😦 Too embarrassing. I might try tomorrow, though. If I get brave enough.
Silver: You’d better not let them win. And this other guy can’t treat you badly, though, or you can report them.
me: Yeah, but I don’t want to ruin my dad’s relationship with this banker. We’ve known him literally since I was a little bitty kid. I used to play with his daughter when I was seven years old and she was five, back in Texas. It’s….meh….awkward.
Silver: Well after you’re all set, can’t you find a new bank? I mean, a new branch?
me: You mean a new branch of that bank? I tried going to the downtown branch of the same bank.
Silver: Same bank, new building 😛
me: But in that bank system, since it’s a Texas account…I can only talk to the Texas bankers. >.< It’s….weird.
Silver: Oh… Well, if it’s that bad, just join a new bank. 😛
[complicated explanation of my bank accounts at the time]
Silver: Well, yeah… and though it’d be a lot of pain, being treated that way is wrong… So if the other guy doesn’t help you perfectly without trouble. I’d really call them out on it.
me: Or at least talk to me about it! I mean, for realz, I am their customer as much as my parents are. S
Silver: Right and that sort of drama is not allowed when you’re serving people. >:C Lemme know how that goes tomorrow.
me: Ok. 🙂 *checks out Craigslist and Freecycle for furniture options*
Silver: Any idea if the apt has been approved? 😀
me: No. <.< The people said we’d hear by today at the latest. So A tried calling twice today.
Silver: Uh oh… What then?
me: Well, we think the app may be delayed somewhat. Because she accidentally put the wrong first digit on her social security number. So….We figured maybe re-processing that is taking a while.
Silver: hehe heh. Just thinking. It would be so much easier if you had to go through all this and ended up moving to a different city or state or something. 😛 But you’re living in the same city… that is kinda awkward.
me: True. 😳 But at least it’s a different part of the city. I’m currently living way north. And this is more central to the city. So we’ll be going to different grocery stores at least.
Silver: All you need to do, I guess, is make sure to not see any of your parents’ friends or acquaintances for a good year or so. 😛
me: True. 😛 Especially people from church…. *headdesk*
Silver: *rolls eyes at them* Yeah. Just until they have someone else to get angry at.
me: 😛 Essentially. Right now we are having a gigantic thunderstorm. With hail.
me: And LOTS of rain.
me: Which we really need.
Silver: I love storms.
me: Me too. 😀 But honestly this storm is reminding me of my life right now. 😛 😳
Thought for the day…I guess I don’t get free cleanings from the dentist dude upstairs who is friends with my dad anymore after I move out.
Silver: 😄 You dont have to go to the dentist often though. 😛 It’s been over 2 years since I’ve been to one.
me: True. 😛
Silver: All you really need to do is go when you get cavities. :6:
me: That’s true as long as you brush your teeth.
Silver: Of course! If you don’t brush, say good bye to them teeths.
me: Because I lived with a dentist (my dad) and brushed my teeth and all that jazz and didn’t have a cleaning for like…. counts from when I was 9 until when I was 18. And I had braces through that time. And I’ve never had a cavity in my life.
me: My dad likes to tell patients, “Only brush the teeth you want to keep.” 😛
I got out the next day: August 1, 2012.
But having friends I could talk to, people I could trust and be open with, was vital to finding the strength to leave no matter what they did, and then making it on the other side. Living as a poor 20-something millennial. Biking 3 miles to campus every day for the first three months. Eating ramen and beans.
Those late night chats kept me alive. My friends kept me from giving up.
This is why a support network is so, so important.
I remember when // we used to laugh // about nothing at all // it was better than going mad // from trying to solve all the problems we’re going through // forget ’em all // ’cause all those nights we would stand and never fall // together we faced it all // remember when we’d // stay up late and we’d talk all night // in a dark room lit by the TV light // through all the hard times in my life // those nights kept me alive
we’d listen to the radio play all night // didn’t want to go home to another fight // through all the hard times in my life // those nights kept me alive // those nights belong to us // there’s nothing wrong with us
— Skillet, Those Nights